The Necessity of Self-Care
I’m writing to talk to you about self-care.
Yup, that topic is “so HAWT right now”. But I can’t let another day pass without making sure you get it.
Do you remember growing up how your mom never stopped. She just got EVERYTHING done. No questions. Little complaining. Just GOT. IT. DONE.
And somewhere along the way she lost herself. To the grind of motherhood, work, house chores, and life.
Then the day came that you moved out. She didn’t know what to do! She didn’t have anyone to take care of and her house wasn’t messy anymore. She didn’t know who she was, what she liked and what she was going to do with all this TIME?
Do you want to go for so long not knowing yourself that one day you wake up, have no one’s butt to wipe, and wonder where the hell you went?
Woman are so giving. They love to serve. They treasure their families. But they have to remember that they are INDIVIDUALS. That they have unique likes and dislikes, favorite songs and movies (Little Mermaid doesn’t count), and a special way of navigating the world.
And if you don’t start discovering who you are now, your time will be up and you will wonder where you went.
So how does self care work? What does it look like?
I’m here to tell you I have NO FUCKING clue. :)
You get to determine that.
You can start with simple questions, like what do I like?
Dancing? Baking? Shopping? Playing soccer? (Sometimes you feel like your racking your brain back to high school just to remember WHO YOU ARE!)
Can’t figure that out? Just get yourself to your nearest coffee shop and sit. Notice how psycho you’ve become… “Are the kids okay?” “Did I turn on the dryer?” “Does anyone notice I’m here alone?” “They totally think I’m a bad mom because I got a babysitter to come here…alone! I’m a moron” Lady, I’m here to tell you, no one knows who you are, how many kids you have and if you like coffee or not. You’re alone! Which might be a new phenomenon to some of you. But I’m telling you it’s the first step. It’s the unwinding of the conditioning of what it looks like to be a good person/woman.
So step one:
Take yourself on a date.
This is key. We can easily go out on a Girl’s Night and feel renewed and fulfilled, but Girl’s night = peer pressure. Whether you like it or not, you still might be comparing your life and dreams to the girl across from you at dinner. So I highly recommend being ALONE.
The first time will be awkward if this is completely new. That’s ok.
When you keep yourself too busy, you can’t invest in yourself.
There’s no time for a massage, energy work, journaling… or just SITTING. You don’t value yourself enough to slow down. Everything and everybody comes first.
And that my friends is where burnout enters. And resentment.
That’s why you feel like you can’t hear God anymore. You’ve kept yourself so busy, the Divine can’t speak to you.
The amount of work it takes at first, can be daunting. It will revel to you how much you value everyone over you. But I promise the house won’t fall apart with you gone for 2 hours. I promise that if you take a day to be alone, you’ll come back recharged and more full of joy and light.
Self care is like the best friend you’ve been missing. She will rub your back. Get you that pedicure and listen to your problems. If you let her.
She will teach you that you love LOUD music and the wind in your hair. That you’re craving to travel and experience the sound of the ocean.
That macaroni makes your stomach hurt but smoothies make you swoon and poop nicely.
She will show you just how bad your relationship is and why you need to get out now.
She will explain your mother… and why she is the way she is.
She will guide you to a new class. And teach you how you like to be touched.
She will even reveal to you one day your passion. Once you finally get quiet enough, know yourself inside and out… it will be time.
Because self-care is listening to YOURSELF. It’s getting quiet enough to hear what’s really going on. It’s allowing your to hear your body. Your SOUL.
Self care looks like so many things. I personally love water cleanses (baths, pools, oceans). I love journaling. I love dancing. Music. AND SLEEP! Oh, do I love me some sleep to rejuvenate my essence!
Self care shows me that I really need that retreat or class. That it’s time to act now, or wait.
Once the buzz and worry about what everyone else thinks stops, I can hear, see and process more clearly what I WANT. My intuition has the room and space to come through all the chaos. My heart reopens and I’m sure.
Jill is a lot bigger than a mom, wife, sister, daughter, and friend. Are you ready to figure out who you are?
Lots of love,