Have you heard of trapped emotions?

We were having a conversation, my husband and I. My eyes heavy, blinking. Stare. Blink. Drifting. Stay awake. This conversation was important to me. He is so important to me. My body dragging me off into dreamland.

Once my head hit the fluff, I was out.

First there were scissors. Snip, cut, snip, snip, snip. Oh no, it was my daughters hair. We were chopping off her beautiful locks. Shorter, and shorter. Uneven. Terrible. I kept thinking, “we can fix this”. Here, grabbing the scissors and trying a new angle. Honing in on my inner master stylists. It kept getting worse.

Then it happened.

My mom saw. It happened so fast it took me off guard. SCREAMING. So furious she started vibrating. You know in horror movies how the ghosts mouths open so wide and their features begin to dissolve when they are trying to consume something. Like that.

She was blurry. Evil. Scary.

Somehow my conscious mantra came to mind. “This is HER story”.  “This is her story”, I kept whispering to myself. No matter how intense she got, I was able to stay. Not get sucked in. Pulled into her swirl of anger and manipulation. Her pain and fear ready to pull me into her vortex. I stayed. I didn’t bite the bate. I didn’t let her truth, eat my truth. I didn’t let her demon, be mine. I just needed to stay present…

I woke up sweating. Stuffy. Had I been crying? Had so much wind and intensity actually just happened?

My body was on fire.

I woke my husband.

“I just had the craziest dream.” I was feeling shaken.

I began reliving the nightmare. Telling him the details. Trying to grasp what this all could mean.

Then it dawned on me.  
I realized who my daughter was.

And why this had come up.

Your subconscious is powerful.

Your body holds stories way longer than your mind. My body was ready to release.

Earlier that day, I had began my morning with a root chakra meditation as part of a Challenge I am doing. (Sydney Liann’s Inside Out 7-Day Challenge).

Being familiar with chakras, I decided to do my own clearing and meditation on my root.

I started by going in and exploring my inner cavity. Images popped up, showing me what energy was stored there. I’ve been practicing inner exploration for some time and it never ceases to amaze me what comes up. How much is actually stored in my body as physical, emotional and mental energy in different, unexpected areas.

At the very bottom of my root, there was a organ shaped mass. Whether real, or formed in my imagination as an anecdote to what needed cleared, I begin removing the mass. Uprooting it’s heavy burden in my root and asking my subconscious what it was about.

My mother.

I prepared an energetic hole in the earth, to bury the mass. I watched as the energy was given back to the earth. The mass quickly absorbed into the soil and returned to the light. Ready to be used as new transformed energy.

I finished my meditation by filling the now hole in my own root with light. Preparing it to be more open and clear.

I stood up, grounded and ready for the day.

I didn’t have to remember the exact story of the mass. Why it was stored. What had happened.

But it never ceases to amaze me the memories my dreams bring me.

And how long they have been stored there…

It’s important we release these traumas. With support.

Trapped emotions are very real. Stories from our life will live on in our body forever if we don’t acknowledge them.

Are you interested in your trapped emotions?

My favorite way to work with clients is to remove old stories that are stored in their bodies so they can begin to feel more freedom. So that they can drop fear and worry and embrace confidence, ease and joy.

Set up an appointment with me either by phone or in person and we can explore your trapped emotions. We can find out what wants to come up and really clear it. Understand it . And let it GO!

Are you ready?

XO,
Jill
 

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The Necessity of Self-Care

Hey Lovely,

I’m writing to talk to you about self-care.

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Yup, that topic is “so HAWT right now”. But I can’t let another day pass without making sure you get it. 

Do you remember growing up how your mom never stopped. She just got EVERYTHING done. No questions. Little complaining. Just GOT. IT. DONE.

And somewhere along the way she lost herself. To the grind of motherhood, work, house chores, and life.

Then the day came that you moved out. She didn’t know what to do!  She didn’t have anyone to take care of and her house wasn’t messy anymore. She didn’t know who she was, what she liked and what she was going to do with all this TIME?

Do you want to go for so long not knowing yourself that one day you wake up, have no one’s butt to wipe, and wonder where the hell you went? 

Woman are so giving. They love to serve. They treasure their families. But they have to remember that they are INDIVIDUALS. That they have unique likes and dislikes, favorite songs and movies (Little Mermaid doesn’t count), and a special way of navigating the world. 

And if you don’t start discovering who you are now, your time will be up and you will wonder where you went. 

So how does self care work? What does it look like? 

I’m here to tell you I have NO FUCKING clue. :) 

You get to determine that. 

You can start with simple questions, like what do I like? 

Dancing? Baking? Shopping? Playing soccer? (Sometimes you feel like your racking your brain back to high school just to remember WHO YOU ARE!)

Can’t figure that out? Just get yourself to your nearest coffee shop and sit. Notice how psycho you’ve become… “Are the kids okay?” “Did I turn on the dryer?” “Does anyone notice I’m here alone?” “They totally think I’m a bad mom because I got a babysitter to come here…alone! I’m a moron” Lady, I’m here to tell you, no one knows who you are, how many kids you have and if you like coffee or not. You’re alone! Which might be a new phenomenon to some of you. But I’m telling you it’s the first step. It’s the unwinding of the conditioning of what it looks like to be a good person/woman. 

So step one:

Take yourself on a date.

ALONE.

This is key. We can easily go out on a Girl’s Night and feel renewed and fulfilled, but Girl’s night = peer pressure. Whether you like it or not, you still might be comparing your life and dreams to the girl across from you at dinner. So I highly recommend being ALONE.

The first time will be awkward if this is completely new. That’s ok. 

When you keep yourself too busy, you can’t invest in yourself. 

There’s no time for a massage, energy work, journaling… or just SITTING. You don’t value yourself enough to slow down. Everything and everybody comes first. 

And that my friends is where burnout enters. And resentment. 

That’s why you feel like you can’t hear God anymore. You’ve kept yourself so busy, the Divine can’t speak to you.

The amount of work it takes at first, can be daunting. It will revel to you how much you value everyone over you. But I promise the house won’t fall apart with you gone for 2 hours. I promise that if you take a day to be alone, you’ll come back recharged and more full of joy and light. 

Self care is like the best friend you’ve been missing. She will rub your back. Get you that pedicure and listen to your problems. If you let her. 

She will teach you that you love LOUD music and the wind in your hair. That you’re craving to travel and experience the sound of the ocean.

That macaroni makes your stomach hurt but smoothies make you swoon and poop nicely.

She will show you just how bad your relationship is and why you need to get out now. 

She will explain your mother… and why she is the way she is.

She will guide you to a new class. And teach you how you like to be touched. 

She will even reveal to you one day your passion. Once you finally get quiet enough, know yourself inside and out… it will be time. 

Because self-care is listening to YOURSELF. It’s getting quiet enough to hear what’s really going on. It’s allowing your to hear your body. Your SOUL.

Self care looks like so many things. I personally love water cleanses (baths, pools, oceans). I love journaling. I love dancing. Music. AND SLEEP! Oh, do I love me some sleep to rejuvenate my essence! 

Self care shows me that I really need that retreat or class. That it’s time to act now, or wait.

Once the buzz and worry about what everyone else thinks stops, I can hear, see and process more clearly what I WANT. My intuition has the room and space to come through all the chaos. My heart reopens and I’m sure.

Jill is a lot bigger than a mom, wife, sister, daughter, and friend. Are you ready to figure out who you are? 

Lots of love,

Jill 

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